Straight men? No thanks!
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Take violent crime. The culprits are overwhelmingly straight men. They are the prime perpetrators of mugging, arson, rape, murder, racist attacks, child abuse, domestic violence, queer-bashing and gang warfare.
Yep! Most violent criminals are heterosexual
males. Although not all straight men are thugs, nearly all thugs are straight. It is young
male heterosexuals who – disproportionately - revel in the machismo of violence and
vandalism. They are the ones who go on the rampage terrorising women, smashing up council
estates, robbing the elderly and getting into drunken fist fights.
It is very rare for gay men to participate in such anti-social behaviour. Usually more
gentle and less macho, most of us queers prefer to fuck men rather than fight them.
When so many social problems are a direct result of acting straight, why should any gay man want to be “straight acting”? Instead of aspiring to a disordered heterosexual model of maleness, we should be calling on straight men to “act queer”. If they did, society would be a calmer, safer place for everyone.
It is true, of course, that not all straight men are macho tearaways. Many are thoughtful, gentle and warm-hearted. Belligerence is not an inevitable feature of male heterosexuality. It is a consequence of young boys believing that being rough and tough is what makes a man. They despise 'sissiness', and associate softness and tenderness with unmanly 'faggots' and 'poofs'.
These attitudes begin in childhood. Boy’s toys and games tend to encourage assertiveness and competitiveness. By the time they reach adolescence, many come to accept rivalry and aggression as 'normal'.
This normalisation of the macho mind-set is reinforced and legitimated by male teenage icons, such as action movie heroes like Bruce Willis and Vinnie Jones. These symbols of maleness link being a 'real man' with machismo and womanising. They encourage the idea that an icy, uncompromising masculinity is sexy and desirable, and suggest that it is part and parcel of the socially-prized state of male heterosexuality. This inevitably marginalises and devalues being gay, with its apparent lack of 'proper' masculine values.
Broadly-speaking, straight males tend to adopt a harder, more aggressive form of masculinity, whereas gay men usually do not. We queers deviate from the masculine norm because we are generally (but not always) less fully masculinised than our straight counterparts.
This queer 'perversion' is a great virtue. It is precisely our 'unmasculine' attributes and our unwillingness to 'act like man' that – thankfully - makes many gay men less inclined to violence. The social benefits are obvious.
This contrast between hetero and homo behaviour is not absolute. We are talking about generalities. There are exceptions.
While socialisation and peer pressure predisposes many heterosexual men to a hard-edged masculinity, some end up less rugged. Indeed, many have embraced the New Man philosophy - rejecting traditional machismo in favour of a caring, sharing (and more queer?) notion of masculinity.
On the other side of the coin, although large numbers of gay men rebel against machismo, a small proportion (often straight-identified) behave just as belligerently as their heterosexual mates. Rape and domestic violence are not unheard of in gay relationships. And who can forget homosexual mass murderers like Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen? But these psycho queers are exceptions. As a general rule, hetero men tend to be the most aggressive and homo men the least.
Contrary to those respectable homosexuals who defensively proclaim that queers are 'just the same' as straights, there is a difference. Moreover, it is a difference that we gay men should proudly celebrate.
The correlation between heterosexual masculinity and violence seems to be linked to the formation of straight male identity. The fear of being labelled 'queer' can be a reason why some heterosexual men adopt an extreme form of machismo. They deliberately choose to be unruly and loud as a way of asserting their heterosexuality and distancing themselves from any taint or suspicion of queerness. They project a hyper-masculinity as 'proof' of hetero identity, ostentatiously disassociating themselves from the perceived effeminacy of the homosexual 'other'. These insecure straights reassure themselves of their heterosexuality with the simple-minded syllogism: 'Straight men are tough. Queers are weak. I'm tough therefore I can't be queer'.
The exaltation of an exaggerated, bellicose masculinity by many young hetero males has very destructive consequences. Because they come to see aggression as normal and legitimate, it weakens the restraints against violent behaviour. No wonder there is so much mugging, rape and vandalism. The whole of society suffers the terrible consequences of straight masculinity running riot.
Given the human wreckage caused by super-butch hetero males, how can anyone seriously suggest that homosexuality is a 'problem'. It's true that some gay men are sissies but, unlike straight machismo, a bit of camp limp-wristedness harms no one. It can even be fun and enjoyable, as comedian Julian Clary has proven to the delight of millions.
The social menace of male heterosexuality is all too familiar. While most people walking alone at night in a dark secluded street would feel threatened by the approach of a loud, boisterous group of young straight males, no one ever feels endangered by the sight of several obviously gay men coming towards them in similar circumstances.
Likewise, the police invariably report that the big difference between gay bars and straight bars is that there are rarely any fights in queer venues but often punch-ups in hetero ones. It is also entirely exceptional for gay men to slash bus seats, riot on football terraces, burn down community centres and graffiti subway trains. Such yobbish behaviour doesn't appeal to us.
This is why the 'liberal' argument in favour of gay assimilation into straight society is so stupid. Assimilation is the process whereby a minority community integrates into the majority culture, adopting its norms and values. But it is just plain daft for gay men to want to act like straight men. That would result in more violence and hooliganism. Instead, it is in society's interest for male heterosexuals to behave more like queers, the vast majority of whom dislike machismo and brutishness.
When it comes to positive role models for young boys, gay men arguably offer the better alternative. Compared to the mindless he-man violence promoted by straight super-stars such as Arnold Schwarznegger and Sylvester Stallone, the thoughtful artistic achievements of queers like Rupert Everett, David Hockney, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Elton John and Michael Clark seem infinitely preferable.
Well, lots of women seem to think so. Fag haggery isn’t an accident or some bizarre female psychological quirk. By comparison to most hetero men, queers generally have a warmer, more emotionally-open temperament. That is why straight women love our company. We are a pleasant relief from the dominating, bellicose behaviour of many (not all) husbands and boyfriends. The majority of women don't like all that macho nonsense, and neither do most gay men. Hence the enduring love affair between hetero girls and gay boys. Women feel safe with us, knowing that our friendship is genuine and not simply a clever ploy to get them into bed.
Gay men share a lot in common with heterosexual women. Apart from our mutualinterest in men - and our obsession with shopping, dressing up, cooking and interior decoration - we both experience a good deal of pain as a result of the straight male mentality. It is hetero men who victimise women and queers. Their misogyny and homophobia causes us suffering. That gives women and gay men a mutual interest in challenging straight male privilege and machismo.
Surveying modern maleness, it is impossible to avoid the conclusion that heterosexual men are often a major social liability, whereas most queers are a real social asset. Compared to straights, we're not so desperate to conform to masculine stereotypes. Less afraid to express our feelings, we tend to be more in touch with our emotions. This gives many of us a sensitivity that has enabled homosexual men to play a disproportionate role in the creative arts, and in caring professions such as teaching and nursing. Whether consciously or not, we gay men redefine what it means to be a man. We show that maleness need not involve machismo.
Who can doubt that life would be infinitely more
pleasant if more straight men had the pacific inclinations of their gay counterparts?
There'd be vastly less gang warfare, wife-beating and late-night
brawling. Were hetero males to embrace the less macho ambiance of queers, society would
end up a lot more calm and peaceful, not to mention caring and creative. The
homosexualisation of male culture is, quite obviously, in the public interest. Where are
the politicians with the guts to say so?
* Peter Tatchell is the author of Safer Sexy: The Guide To Gay Sex Safely
(Freedom Editions, £l4.99), and We Don't Want To March Straight: Masculinity, Queers
& The Military (Cassell, £4.99).
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